Grandpa’s Funeral
I’d never been to church before, not until today. I didn’t
like it too much, It was full of sadness and people dressed in black. It was
cold and the seats were like the hard wooden benches you get in P.E. you had to
sit staring up at what's called an alter and behind that on the wall at the
back there was a scary statue of Jesus on the cross. Hanging there staring, I
felt like it was staring at me telling me I shouldn’t be there ‘cos we don’t go
to church, even though we were meant to be there to see Granddad's funeral. In
front of the alter was Granddad's special box called a coffin; with its shiny
handles it looks like a draw form Nan's
brown dresser, except it's got a lid and is shaped to hold a
person. You had to sit still and quiet
as the vicar waffled on about Granddad and God. What did he know about Granddad
he never met him? Even Dad scoffed at
the vicar, he doesn’t believe in God neither does Mum but Nan does; she goes to
church every week. She believes in heaven and God...but I don’t. Granddad was
none to fused either, he told me so himself. He said he was agnostic. When I
asked what that means he said he’s not sure what happens and if there is a
heaven. He said that there’s no evidence for such things.
‘How could a God let people and animals suffer in his
name?' He'd say followed by ‘But I sure hope something happens when you go.’
Today we laid Granddad to rest; I don’t know why they said
that. It sounds like he’ll wake up but I know he won’t really. It confused
Daniel he’s three years younger than me and he doesn’t understand what adults
mean sometimes. They tell stories to us, they think it makes everything better,
but it doesn’t.
I miss Granddad loads, I miss his stories; they were the
best but I’m not sad he’s gone. When he got sick they told us he would get
better that he just needed special medicine that makes your hair fall out, but
he didn’t. I remember Granddad telling us he didn’t mind about the hair ‘cos it
had disappeared years ago from looking after Dad. He told me one day I’d
understand. Now he won’t be able to tell me what he meant. When we last saw him
he looked so old. He was so small and delicate he looked as small as Dan, when
he coughed I thought he would snap! You could see it hurt him that made me sad.
He was always so full of life always, doing things. He made this wooden dog for
me from a stick once with just his hands and a knife. I hated seeing him like
that.
When he died I asked dad what had happens to you do you go
to heaven like Nan says? Dad just smiled and he told me he didn’t know but he
said one thing he did know was that we are all made up of stuff that’s been
around for years; Millions of them. And when we die and don’t need that stuff
anymore we get recycled into new stuff. So inside you and me are bits of really
old stars isn’t that cool!
I wonder if you get to be part of the new things. Granddad
really liked trees maybe he could help one grow or get to be one.
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